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The biggest problem for any of us is how our own minds beat us up, and not only in this way. You can even get dizzy, disoriented, filled with anger, despondency and so forth. You use the technique to subjugate reactions, emotions, and hidden habits.It is the greatest tool you will ever have for getting to the other side of this, and all your challenges. No other program has anything that compares with it.But you have to improve your marriage behavior if you want success. The first reaction in your mind, when you make such a harsh threatening discovery is going to be self-protective, accompanied by fear; these are primal.Third: Your marriage is not over, unless you choose it to be. You must change your behaviors of thought, feeling, speech, and actions. Reading a book or two, even one of mine, will likely not be enough. When you discover your husband is using online dating sites you will automatically assume the worst, imagining he is following through, and meeting other women. That is probably not happening, but it is not too late for your marriage, even if he is.Even when someone KNOWS something is detrimental they will do what they always do.So, anyone who tells you that all you have to do is this, or that, and everything will be fine, is asking too much. It helps you bring control over your mind, so you can do what is necessary, with a clear head.They are individuals, who you married, for better or worse, who succumbed to rampant temptations (not excusing them).Second: It’s a mistake to take their actions as indictments about yourself.

Additionally, busting him will NEVER initiate a positive change in the current frustrations that got him on the wrong road to begin with.

Marriage is meant to be joy filled, not stress-filled. But because this discovery is likely a pretty intense threat over-reacting is all too normal.

Of course, your mind will tell you your whole life is threatened. But remember that instinctive reacting always means that, not clear thinking. In our program, which many women and men have used to recover and re-start their marriage, we include an amazing technique to help you.

So, he may just be testing his male magnetism for egotistical purposes. Believe it, taking your visceral reactions out of the equation is a good thing. I mean, you won’t be pleased to hear this, but he is a good man who simply did not know how to tell you how hard it is for him to live with you. Either of them, Lessons for a Happy Marriage or Breaking the Cycle. The mind can be tricky, and some men imagine it will work out if they live two simultaneous lives. But here is the problem: If you want to keep him you should not confront him.

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These men tend to be willing to take the program also. The first is lighter to read, the other one is our textbook for certifying our counselors. Then seeing how logical everything is, they trust us enough to get the program. There are too many urban myths and TV shows that support this idea. Getting him to confess his sins and change his ways is absolutely the wrong approach. We get emails all the time through our free question portal from women who confronted their husbands.First: Although it’s unfortunate when a husband’s errant thoughts manifest into such destructive behaviors.